Thanksgiving: The Accurate Reading

For centuries, tarot readers have solemnly explained that the Death Card XIII doesn't mean literal death; it signifies transformation, a necessary ending to make way for a new beginning. 

They were wrong.

Once a year, usually the fourth Thursday in November, the card sheds its metaphorical robes and becomes brutally literal.

Tarot Card Feature	Turkey's Reality Check
Traditional Meaning	Thanksgiving Interpretation
Transformation	Moving from strutting bird to centerpiece.
Endings	The ultimate final curtain before the gravy boat.
The New Beginning	Your family's nap on the couch.

So, raise a glass of cheap wine to the Thanksgiving Turkey: the one creature on earth for whom the Death Card actually means, "Yep, you're toast." It’s the only time the title truly holds up, much like a badly basted bird.  Sarcasm aside, it's a hell of a transformation. 🦃