Valentine's Day!

Dialing the Dead is Easier Than Finding a Date, and dating Apps are a "Bot-A-Thon".

"Plenty of Fish" has become "Plenty of Phish" and Match.com should just rename itself to Botnet.com. If you’re currently swiping, you aren't looking for love; you’re being harvested for data by AI "Wingmen" and corporate algorithms.

The Platform: Tinder
The Sarcastic Reality: A slot machine where the "jackpot" is a ghost. They’re using "AI Photo Selectors" now.

The AI/Bot Drama: The bots are literally picking their best fake faces to lure you in.

The Platform: Match.com
The Sarcastic Reality: The "Premium" way to get ignored by high-resolution bots.
The AI/Bot Drama: Heavy botting keeps the "engagement" numbers up so the stock price doesn't drop as fast as your self-esteem.

The Platform: Plenty of Fish
The AI/Bot Drama: It’s basically a zombie apocalypse of dead profiles reactivated by AI to make the app look "populated.

The Sarcastic Reality: The "Garbage Land" of dating apps

These apps are desperate. Their user bases are shrinking, so they’ve unleashed "AI Wingmen" to chat for you. Today, it’s entirely possible for two bots to spend three days flirting with each other while the humans they represent are both home eating cereal in the dark.

Am you talking to a Bot or AI? 
If the person is "too perfect," responds in 0.5 seconds, and refuses to do a video call because their "camera is broken," perform an immediate Digital Exorcism. Block, delete, and wipe your cache.

The Tarot Advice?
Stop looking for The Lovers in a database owned by a megacorporation. The Devil card isn't a red guy with a pitchfork; it’s an "to Tinder Gold.

If you want a real connection, go talk to a tree. Even if it doesn't talk back, at least it isn't trying to steal your identity or sell your location data to a broker in Belarus.